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Thoughts from T'bilisi

T'bilisi, 25.11.2023

In the beginning of this month, I was still swimming in rivers or the sea as a part of my morning routine. But it's slowly getting cold outside, even in Georgia, and I finally got myself a new winter coat now. It's time for me to get some rest. I'll be staying here for the next four weeks, in a proper flat with hot water and high ceilings to stand upright, contrary to the van. This year I'll be spending the winter months in the Caucasus region, somewhere between Georgia, Armenia and Azerbaijan. Perhaps, hopefully, it'll be a time for me to process too. Process everything that has happened recently.

It's been pretty damn quiet on this blog. Honestly, I don't think I'd have been able to put my past experiences in words at the time anyways - the raging winds, the boiling waters and the blazing fires inside and around me. Deep, inner peace and burning rage, sadness that has eaten me up inside-out and all-encompassing ecstasy: I have experienced every emotional stage and truly wondered, whether I've gone mad. Maybe I have.

I no longer know any boundaries, know neither beginnings nor endings, I no longer know love, but I love more than ever. I no longer know past nor future, no certainties and no self-evidence. Everything is possible and nothing at the same time, nothing is structured and nothing inconcievable.

As I'm writing these lines, I'm listening to a playlist called "my life is a movie". That would be a wicked one, I'm telling ya. So, in the coming days and weeks, I'll do my best to capture my past experiences on this blog and write down in every colour, what would've been on that movie screen. I will do my best to capture all the views and moments, looks and touches, tastes and scents in a grandmotherly attempt of preserving, what cannot be preserved.


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